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From The Guardian :-

The New Dudes are drunk, faithless, feckless and dark. But are they dangerous modern misogynists? Or desperate for female attention?

..Could it be our (women’s) fault? We asked for the New Man (feminised, housebroken), and then when we got him, we mocked him for being a sap. It’s almost as though men are saying: “You women keep trying to invent new kinds of men. Well, here are the men we invent, left to our own devices.” That said, for all the bluster, what a bumbling shower this dick power mob seems. Many don’t even seem to understand their own woman-hating credo. Here’s a clue, guys: if you despise certain people, ignore them. As it is, while feminism is generally accepted to be all about women, masculinism turns out to be… all about women, too.

The feminists haven’t worked this one out yet, have they..? You may immediately notice the standard feminist modus opperandi – the stunning avoidance of self-criticism, the gratuitous Shaming Language..

You may also wish to read The Marriage Strike – It’s Because You Have A Small Penis on this blog, which was posted back in February 4th 2008 where I originally commented..

 ..Thanks to feminism, marriage has become a financially and emotionally unviable proposition for modern men.

Let’s leave the feminists to think about this a bit longer shall we? I am sure that they will get there in the end.. unless they read Mens Rights blogs of course!

(With thanks to Tim for bringing this to my attention!)

This website has some interesting theories concerning the reasons behind the Marriage Strike. Far from being a reaction to a bad transaction for the modern male, the Marriage Strike is an extremist plot perpetrated by shady neo-conservatives!

Quote:

‘The marriage strike is a temper tantrum from a 5 year old.  Women rightfully stand up for their rights, and American males go, “Wah, wah, wah, I’m not going to play anymore until you submit yourself to a patriarchal marriage.”  What is needed is for these American males’ moms or kindergarten teachers to put them into the corner until they learn how to play fair and respect women.  After all, if American males want to act like 5 year olds, they should be treated that way.’

How shocking!

However, you may also find other interesting articles on the same website such as this one

Yes, it’s our old friend the Scum Manifesto, proudly reprinted as a triumphant tribute to the true goals of feminism.

Feminists are waking up to the growing dissatisfaction at the hateful campaign it has perpetrated against men and is laying the blame at any door other than its own.

However, at Exposing Feminism I am pleased to see this! Reading between the lines, one can clearly see that feminists are recognising the approaching tsunami and looking for scapegoats in a futile attempt at slowing it down!

Feminism purports to concern itself with equality – but in reality propagates mistrust, tension and hatred between the sexes.

..and not at all because thanks to feminism, marriage has become a financially and emotionally unviable proposition for modern men.

The article is here ..

There are similar ones here , here and here ..

And here is a response , and another..

So, who does own the marriage strike, now that one half of the population of the western world is finally admitting that it exists – and why does it seem so remarkable to them?

Isn’t it also remarkable that feminists consistently attempt to reframe the Marriage Strike as a minority decision now that more people than ever are opting to live separately ?

See also: ‘The Marriage Strike – An Extremist Plot?’

From Craigslist;-

‘What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy. I’m not from New York. I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board ? Any wives ? Could you send me some tips ? I dated a business man who made average of around 200 – 250K. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. $250,000 won’t get me to Central Park West. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker, and lives in Tribeca. She’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right ? How do I get to her level ?

Here are my questions specifically:

– Where do you single rich men hang out ? Give me specifics – bars, restaurants, gyms

– What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings

– Is there an age range I should be targeting ?

– Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the Upper East Side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘Plain Jane’ boring types, who have nothing to offer incredibly wealthy guys. Then I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the East Village. What’s the story there ?

Lawyers, investment bankers, doctors. How much do those guys really make ? And where do the hedge fund guys hang out ?

How do you rich guys decide on marriage vs. just a girlfriend ? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY.

Please hold your insults – I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial – at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them – in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice hearth and home’.

~o0o~

An investment banker responds.. 

‘I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.

Firstly, I’m not wasting your time. I qualify as a guy who fits your bill – that is, I make more than $500K per year. That said, here’s how I see it:

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is a plain and simple crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity – in fact, it is very likely that my income will increase, but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms, you are a depreciating asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, however your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain – you’re 25 now and will likely remain pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 – stick a fork in you!

So, in Wall Street terms, we’d call you a trading position – not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to ‘buy you’ (which is what you’re asking) – so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following: if my money were to go away, so would you so when your beauty fades I need an out too. It’s as simple as that. So the deal that makes sense for me is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as ‘articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful’ as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that, if you are as gorgeous as you say you are your $500K man hasn’t found you if only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way. Classic ‘pump and dump’. I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, please let me know’.

~o0o~

The original poster responds..

‘Dear Investment Banker

I must confess that I was somewhat taken aback upon reading your e-mail. Indeed, it has taken some time for me to sufficiently recuperate from my surprise. Lest your confidence quickly inflate for little reason (as we know is the predisposition for Wall Street types), allow me to hasten to reassure you that the source of my surprise was neither your candor nor the accuracy of your perception. Indeed, it is your ‘claimed’ success in light of your poor grasp of economics which has me baffled. If the standards required to meet with financial success on Wall Street have sunk so low, perhaps I should indeed ‘make my own money’.

By now you are likely scratching your ever-vanishing hairline in confusion, so allow me to elaborate, dear man. To build some credibility I will tell you a bit more about yourself. It is absolutely clear that you are an investment banker and not a trader, as any good trader would understand that human courtships are based upon a semi-efficient open market, and not an investment banking cartel. However, your inability to grasp the realities of the dating market is not surprising, given that you have successfully employed the tools of collusion and market manipulation rather than true acumen in your pursuit of so-called ‘wealth’.

If your grasp of finance were not a minority partner with your ego, you would realize that the ‘outflows’ associated with my depreciating ‘assets’ are quite certain, and therefore subject to a low discount rate when determining their present value. In addition, though your concept of economics evidentially failed to move past the 1950s, advancement in plastic surgery is not subject to the same limitation. Thus, with some additional capital expenditure, the overall lifetime of ‘outflows’ generated by these assets is greatly increased. Sad that Ashton Kutcher has demonstrated understanding of the female asset class which you, in all of your financial ‘wisdom’, have not.

You, on the other hand, are, given the uncertainty of the Wall Street job market, more of an inflation-indexed junk bond with an underwater nested call option. Though you may argue that you are more of an equity investment, my monetary minimums required from you do not change, and if you are unable to pay them, I will liquidate you without the benefit of a Chapter 11 – just as you would me.

Because your outflows are so much more uncertain with respect to mine, I require additional compensation in the form of a underwater nested call option on your future assets. I say underwater because, even taking into account the value of your junk bond coupon payment to me, the value of my ‘outflow’ is in excess of the market price of your equity (which is quite low due to its riskiness associated with your poor grasp of finance, and my existing claim upon your junk bond coupon).

I must thank you though for raising these issues, despite the reputational cost of subjecting your weak logic to such widespread scrutiny. This took either considerable courage or ignorance on your part – but we’ll give you the benefit of doubt, just this once. My current boyfriend (a trader who lives in Central Park West, of course) and I thoroughly enjoyed discussing your response, and we wish you the best of luck in your unhappy pursuit of that elusive market inefficiency’.

From Craigslist;-

‘I am a man in my 40s and dating. I was married and against my wishes the marriage ended. I loved my wife deeply, she decided she no longer loved me and she wasn’t “happy”. So, now I date. I didn’t ask to be in my 40s and single, but reality being what it is I live with it.

I have no plans to ever get married again. I might have a steady girlfriend if the occasion arises, but she’d have to be pretty damn spectacular for me to make that leap. I have had all my children, I am financially secure and have a plan for myself that is better done without a typical American woman’s bullshit to goof it up. I don’t hate women at all by the way, I just know what is worth my time and what isn’t.

I date for the occasional bit of company and to occasionally have sex, that’s about it. I don’t need a woman in my life full time. I can cook and clean, etc, etc. If I wanted full time companionship, I’d get a dog. Dogs are much easier to deal with than women at this point in my life. Call me shallow, etc etc whatever, that’s fine with me. I know me a helluva lot better than anyone else does.

I do have some rules for dating. Since I am not a horny, partying twenty something or a desparate to have kids thirty something these rules work for me. I think everyone ought to come up with what works for them, keeping the reality of their particular situation in mind.

My personal rules:

1. I never seriously date a woman who terminated her last relationship because she wasn’t “happy”. Happiness is an emotional response to external stimuli. To break the vow of “til’ death do us part” over an emotional state that may or may not be another person’s fault, is shallow and shows a lack of emotional maturity. It tells me that woman is too self absorbed to be a reliable partner in the future.

2. I don’t date fat women. Sorry, all you “BBWs”; get a grip on reality. If you are walking around looking like you have a beer keg stuffed in your pants, you don’t give a shit about yourself, so I really don’t expect you to give a shit about me in the long run. Don’t give me that crap about how happy you are with yourself, you’re not and we both know it. If you and I had fallen in love twenty years ago, gotten married and had a family and you had put on the weight, I would still be with you, but we didn’t and so I see no need to accommodate your lack of character and discipline.

3. I won’t seriously consider dating a woman who has a lot of hangups about sex. Since I have had all my children, since I can cook and clean and make a damn good living for myself and my children, you bring nothing to the table I need in the traditional sense. Hell, most women can’t or won’t cook a decent meal anymore and are as a general rule clueless in regard to the domestic arts. If you have a lot of hangups about sex before we are monogamous, I pretty much see the writing on the wall after we have been together for a while. You might not like it, but sex is important to men, yes actually, it IS mostly about sex. Now that we are all well educated as to the dangers of unprotected sex, STDs and birth control, I don’t see the problem. Your p***y is not the only one in the universe and it isn’t plated with gold. If you won’t have sex with a man, one of your slutty sisters around the corner will.

4. Feminists. I don’t date women who are avowed feminists with a “you go girl” mentality. Sorry, but your little movement f***ed things up in a major way. I think women ought to vote, receive equal pay for equal work etc. etc. I do have enough sense to recognize that whether by design or chance, men and women are different and since I think that form follows function there is a reason for our differences. I don’t want to be around a woman who wants to prove to me she is as good as I am at “man” stuff. It is annoying. It makes you look stupid and insecure.

5. “Independent” women. I never date a woman who feels the need to tout her own independence. First, independent entities by definition do not want or need to be in any type of union with another entity. When the United States declared independence from Great Britain, we dissolved the ties that had connected us to the British. I myself am independent and feel no need to tell everyone about it. It is called being an adult. Being able to take care of yourself doesn’t make you special, it makes you “grown folks”. Second, if you are that independent, why are you looking for a relationship in the first place? Independence is the opposite of dependence and being able to depend on others is why we get into relationships of any kind in the first place.

6. Women who spend every weekend perched on a barstool. I don’t date these over the hill party girls because as an adult male, I know why men go to bars and clubs and as a mature adult woman you ought to as well. If you do know and still sit there every weekend you are trying to be something you aren’t (young, unless you are a drunk) and I have no desire to be with a woman who lives in a fantasy world. If you haven’t figured out why men go to bars and clubs and you are sitting there hoping to meet prince charming, you are clueless and I like to think the women I date have a modicum of intelligence.

7. I don’t date women who have their children full time. Might come across as a s****y attitude to have, but I see no need to be a full time father to someone else’s children and a part time father to my own. This is a personal preference I developed after having discussions with my own children. Mine have been through enough already, I’m the Dad and feel I am doing what is best for my children, they were here first.

8. Anyone who is fanatical about much of anything. If you are religious fanatic, I too believe in God. I have a degree in Theology as a matter of fact, but as far as I can tell, God didn’t assign any woman at anytime to be my moral gatekeeper. He did tell you to be “keepers at home”, if you are so caught up in church work that you are making your family the second priority in your life you aren’t following your own rule book. I digress, fanaticism of any kind is a psychological addiction and I prefer to spend my time with people who lead a well balanced life. Addiction of any kind is a turn off.

9. Overly materialistic. My preference. I grew up dirt poor and have by hard work gotten myself to a pretty good spot in life. If you have a desire and need to get the latest and greatest and keep up with the Jones family, you aren’t for me. I see no need to potentially work myself into an early grave to keep you in shiny trinkets and new cars. I am pretty content with a pot of beans and a nice clean, comfortable house in a decent neighborhood and a vehicle that works and is safe. If $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ is what motivates you, I am not mad at you or knocking you for it, I am personally not interested. No, I am not “poor”, it is about priorities.

There ya go. Don’t know why I posted this. Saw the comments about people in their 40s dating and this is what came to mind. I have no real interest in getting into another permanent relationship. I am content to spend the rest of my life single, but that works for me.

For those disparaging the over 40 dating crowd, even 40 somethings get lonely at times, some more than others. Some of those people are there through no fault of their own. they were and are good men and women who had an ex get middle aged crazy and left a good man or woman behind to chase after something they thought they were missing. Maybe the other person was an abusive asshole or addict and the one who is single had to leave for any number of reasons. All sorts of reasons people over 40 are single. Keep breathing and you might find yourself there some day. ‘

From Craigslist;-

‘I see this question posted with some regularity in the personals section, so I thought I’d take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there that haven’t figured it out.

What happened to all the nice guys?

The answer is simple: you did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He’d tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn’t feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were f***ing treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were “just friends.” Besides, he totally wasn’t your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn’t know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren’t the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you’re single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, “What happened to all the nice guys?”

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive “just-a-” friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren’t really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you’re upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he’d have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an ***hole than he ever wanted to be.

Fact is, now, he’s probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I’m sorry that it took the complete absence of “nice guys” in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you’re looking for a nice guy, here’s what you do:

1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ***.
3.) Take a look at what’s right in front of you and grab ahold of it.

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don’t really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

If you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you’ve ****ed yourself over. You’re getting older, after all. It’s time to excise the bullshit and deal with reality. You didn’t want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn’t ****ing want you, now.

Sincerely,

A Recovering Nice Guy’

~o0o~

Also check out No More Mr. Nice Guy ,

‘Overcoming ‘Niceguy-itus” ,

‘Overcoming ‘Niceguy-itus (Part 2)” ,

Co-Dependancy at The Recovery Network ,

and ‘The Man With No Spine – ‘A parable for ‘Nice Guys” at http://www.heartless-bitches.com

Dating, 1950s – for the man.

Ask your partner’s parent for permission to take their daughter on a date. She may or may not be chaperoned – a double date may be a respectable compromise. Sex is out of the question. She must be at home for eleven o’clock pm. You will be expected to pay for any entertainment or food and drink. A return date may be requested on another occasion.

You will not be exclusive to each other until you agree this together and announce your engagement.

Dating, 2000s – for the woman. 

Meet in a bar. Get drunk. Have sex. From there you may each decide which level of commitment you are available for. This can be anything from ‘friends-with-benefits’ to ‘seeing-how-it-goes’..

~o0o~

Now, ladies, which scenario do you prefer? Which is more likely to guarantee you respect and happiness?

Feminism purports to concern itself only with equality – but in reality propagates mistrust, tension and hatred between the sexes.

ht_divorce_070507_ms.jpg

In the feminised west, divorce legislation favours the female, as this all-female law firm based in the USA well knows.

However, in response to this, many men are now actively refusing to marry – this is being referred to as the ‘marriage strike’.

You might even speculate that these men are saying ‘life’s short, don’t marry..’